Perfect Service

Perfect service,
and the brush of a stranger's hair
on your arm.
And wanting to write like Hemmingway.
And wanting to write like Joni Mitchell.
And wanting to paint as if their words have stumbled somehow
from exhausted presses,
whose letters no longer say
but only mean,
to the biggest empty page that they could find.

Wanting to paint as if you have
forever to understand these words
not scrawled across the canvas
but embedded on,
embossed upon
its surface. Wait forever
for the perfect sleepless night to take you
out of skin and meaning
of the darker sky and room,
the bed too warm,
too wide.

Wade
across the stillness
of a house with no one in it
save for Ludo, and he's sleeping
to a painting full of circles
looking forward to the spring.

Across the Sheet

That fiercely empty
half bed and belly
where a man or child should lie are sharply hollow
and full of secrets.

Too far from the wall, the bed's too wide;
its distance makes my foetal
curl unable to cross
between myself and the destiny bred in my womb.
Girl-woman, turned on herself away
from the bare cold of a night
when the others are burning midnight oil for music,
when even the weight of a guitar on her belly
would be better than nothing at all.

Ludo, my Insomnia

Have you met Ludo?
Inexorable, and therefore made at home,
I'll never be alone
at night, eyes open wide,
with Ludo by.
Dreaming of a home I'll never find,
of arms not mine, Ludo laughs,
and forgives me my follies.
Yet Ludo forbids me my night's errant pathways:
"Save them for the day,
don't think of it 'til day."

Ludo, I have carried you
from one room to another in this house,
and then another, until you know the place
almost as well as I. Please try
not to hold this against him.
But after all,
who know better than you the turning routes my unconscious takes
when it's past the end of yesterday,
and tomorrow is too far off? No wonder
that I drag you from room to room for hours on end.

Ludo, my insomnia.

This Battered Night

Tired body changes
before dawn from animal to woman;
body's skin slips on again,
pulled from reluctant corners,
resistant and harbouring, along with the hide,
seven consecutive stages of sleep.
Skin slips on again,
fits like a second layer of,
still loose, raw in patches,
not yet attached to body.
Skin slips on again.

This battered night and tortuous waking,
to seven stars still low
on the horizon, wet with fog,
and you are missing.

Offer me this morning
as if it were yours to give, this rising
sun as if held in your hands, enormous orange
in a country sick with solitude.
Give this day to me in spite.
In spite of differences, we rise
under the same sun.

All my suns are on the street.